Listen to Me Patiently

Chapter 26

The scene from the previous chapter of Paul’s trial continues. At the governor’s suggestion, King Agrippa hears Paul’s defense, to possibly help the governor make a decision regarding any charges that might be brought against Paul. So, once again, Paul gives a speech.

Paul begins with the customary gestures (stretching out his hand) and the customary compliments to his audience. His speech combines some themes from his earlier speeches, but with substantial changes.

Take a look again at Paul’s speech in Chapter 22, where he is making his case to the Jews. He addresses his audience as “Brothers and Fathers,” to make clear that he is one of them. Above all, Paul wants to convey the message that he is nothing other than a loyal and faithful Jew.

But in this chapter, the tone is different. Paul is speaking to the Roman authorities, and he is clearly working to put some distance between himself and the Jews. He says to Agrippa, in essence, “You and I both know, don’t we, how these Jews are with their intra-religious disputes.”

Paul goes on to propose that the real problem between the Jews and himself is the matter of the resurrection. Some find it incredible! Yet, Paul insists, it is a very Jewish hope. Paul goes on to share his own story, once again, of how he came to this particular awareness.

In a previous life, he was a zealous persecutor of Christians. In the course of his work, he encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus. Paul repeats many of the details we have heard before in the other tellings of this pivotal tale. But he tweaks the story in some critical ways to fit the occasion.

First, Paul fleshes out his conversation with Jesus. He adds some flourishes, like, “It hurts you to kick against the goads,” referring to the futility of fighting against a greater power. And he adds some details in which Jesus predict so many of the things Paul will go through in his ministry.

Second, Paul laces the story with references to God’s power and his obedience. He assures his audience that after his Damascus Road experience he was ever obedient, and that at every step God has empowered him.

And third, there is no mention of any other characters. Even though Chapter 9 shows that others played a part; that the disciple Ananias was instrumental in helping Paul regain his sight and his strength; that he spent time with the disciples in Damascus who saw to his baptism, they are all left out of Paul’s story. It is not that Paul is ungrateful for the roles they all played. It is just that now Paul is giving his testimony – in the religious sense of the word.

In this chapter, Paul is looking back over the years of his life as a Christian and making sense of it all. He is summarizing all of it from the perspective of years and from the standpoint of divine commission. He speaks of his message from Jesus much as the prophets of Israel spoke of their messages from God.

Paul’s testimony is powerful, it seems, for Festus reacts strangely, exclaiming that Paul must be out of his mind. Agrippa remarks, in a tone we cannot presume to know: Are you so quickly persuading me to become a Christian? Yes, Paul wants his hearers to believe, as he believes.

Giving testimony is a common act in the church today – if not so much in mainline protestant churches as it is in the evangelical churches. There is a typical form for the testimony to take: Once I was miserable. Then I found Jesus. Now I am happy and fulfilled. In fact, the conventional wisdom holds that the more miserable your life was, the better your testimony will be. These are good stories, which give people hope for their own lives. We reaffirm our belief that, as Paul writes to the Philippians, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Amen.

But it really must be mentioned that Paul’s testimony doesn’t look anything like this formula.

First, Paul was not miserable before his experience on the Damascus Road. He was focused, he was zealous for his mission, which was persecuting Christians. A common phrase we use when talking about conversion stories is hitting rock bottom. But Paul would never have used that phrase to describe himself.

Second, Paul did not find Jesus. Paul was not searching for something to fix his life or fulfill his purpose. He did not follow an invitation to attend a church or to approach the altar. Paul was pursuing the work that he was passionate about and then Jesus knocked him down. Paul did not find Jesus; Jesus found Paul.

And finally, the question of newfound happiness and fulfillment? If we were to ask Paul, I imagine he would describe the incomparable joy that he now knows – the joy he describes in his letter to the Philippians, a letter he wrote while in prison. “But even if I am being poured out as a libation over the sacrifice and the offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you” (Philippians 2:17).

This joy is so much more complex than what we usually think of as happiness. It goes deeper, it requires traveling through sorrow, sacrifice, and pain. After all, when Paul wrote “I can do all things through Christ,” he was referring to persevering through all manner of hardship.

We are drawing near to the end of Paul’s journey and we are seeing, along with Paul, what it has been all about. To quote once more from his letter to the Philippians, “For me, living is Christ and dying is gain” (Philippians 1:21).

Questions for Reflection:

•        We might say that Paul’s testimony is a “call” story, rather than a “conversion” story. Why? Or why not?
•   What parts do joy and sorrow play in your faith story?